So, Sponge and I swim in the morning three or four times a week. One of those mornings, we typically aqua jog (which I love - seriously, I wake up on those mornings and I bounce out of bed thinking "today's aqua jogging day!" - sheesh, my life seems kind of sad now). We have way too much fun "jogging" around the pool doing things like "synchronized aqua jogging", "make Sponge nearly drown from giggling with my new bobbing trick", "racing where the winner takes some major life goal: tenure, marriage, etc." We're talking hardcore workouts here.
But my second favorite part about aqua jogging (my favoritest part is being with Sponge! Can I get a big "AWWWWWWW"), is Man Who Owns the Ugliest Shorts on Earth (MWOUSE) or Obnoxious Shorts Boy (OSB) for short. What entertainment he gives us! We giggle incessantly while bobbing ("jogging") across the pool. Some classics include bright yellow shorts, bright pink shorts (seriously?!), green plaid shorts (topped with a brown plaid shirt - stylin!), and yesterday's classics: horizontal brown and pink stripes. I mean, honestly, what store is selling these? (I dared Sponge to ask him but she refrained. That would have been funny)
So, anyways, recently we've been treading water for 10 minutes after our aqua-jogging "workouts". The first time, Sponge had a wee bit of difficulty staying above water. I, however, seem to have some hidden life calling to water treading. I wonder how much you get paid for that...
Right, so, we're treading water and giggling (which is really tricky - usually Sponge ends up spitting on me or something), and OSB comes by and says, "If you want a really hard workout, you should try this" and hands the frantically-treading-water-whose-head-is-barely-above-water-Sponge a 20 pound brick to hold abover her head. As I watch Sponge sink rapidly, OSB turns around and starts to walk away, calling over his shoulder "Just don't drop it [to the bottom of the 15 ft pool]". I start to wonder, will she resurface? So, I reach over haul her back up to the wall. We play with that for awhile and the much lighter water polo ball, alternately watching the other sink.
OSB comes back and starts offering some coaching on our form. Or rather, on Sponge's form. I'm starting to notice that he's not looking in my direction. His world was Sponge. I mean, I could have gone completely under "blub blub blub" (please see the picture for the visuals) and he wouldn't have noticed. Sponge on the other hand, was like "Yeah! Like this??? How about now? Yay!!!" Afterwards, she claims that if I had grabbed onto her under water (in a desperate attempt to save myself) she might have shaken me off. To be fair, she was having some trouble not sinking, after all. Every Sponge for herself!
But my second favorite part about aqua jogging (my favoritest part is being with Sponge! Can I get a big "AWWWWWWW"), is Man Who Owns the Ugliest Shorts on Earth (MWOUSE) or Obnoxious Shorts Boy (OSB) for short. What entertainment he gives us! We giggle incessantly while bobbing ("jogging") across the pool. Some classics include bright yellow shorts, bright pink shorts (seriously?!), green plaid shorts (topped with a brown plaid shirt - stylin!), and yesterday's classics: horizontal brown and pink stripes. I mean, honestly, what store is selling these? (I dared Sponge to ask him but she refrained. That would have been funny)
So, anyways, recently we've been treading water for 10 minutes after our aqua-jogging "workouts". The first time, Sponge had a wee bit of difficulty staying above water. I, however, seem to have some hidden life calling to water treading. I wonder how much you get paid for that...
Right, so, we're treading water and giggling (which is really tricky - usually Sponge ends up spitting on me or something), and OSB comes by and says, "If you want a really hard workout, you should try this" and hands the frantically-treading-water-whose-head-is-barely-above-water-Sponge a 20 pound brick to hold abover her head. As I watch Sponge sink rapidly, OSB turns around and starts to walk away, calling over his shoulder "Just don't drop it [to the bottom of the 15 ft pool]". I start to wonder, will she resurface? So, I reach over haul her back up to the wall. We play with that for awhile and the much lighter water polo ball, alternately watching the other sink.
OSB comes back and starts offering some coaching on our form. Or rather, on Sponge's form. I'm starting to notice that he's not looking in my direction. His world was Sponge. I mean, I could have gone completely under "blub blub blub" (please see the picture for the visuals) and he wouldn't have noticed. Sponge on the other hand, was like "Yeah! Like this??? How about now? Yay!!!" Afterwards, she claims that if I had grabbed onto her under water (in a desperate attempt to save myself) she might have shaken me off. To be fair, she was having some trouble not sinking, after all. Every Sponge for herself!
(There I go to the bottom of the pool unnoticed by the flirty Sponge and the bewitched OSB.)
My money is on OSB asking Sponge out. The first date could be fishing my body from the bottom of the pool.
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