How to open a tea bag

How Stretch Opens a Tea Bag:

1. Tear open the top.
2. Remove tea bag.

How Sponge Opens a Tea Bag:

1. Attempt to tear open the top.
2. Continue to do so for a few minutes.
3. Attempt to tear open the bottom.
4. Continue to do so for a bit.
5. Attempt to tear open the side.
6. Continue to attempt.
7. Use teeth to try to gnaw open tea bag.
8. Continue until tea bag is soggy in corner where it has been in teeth.
9. Eventually, discover little hole after continued destruction.
10. Pry apart hole.
11. Remove tea bag.


Floop said...

This is how Sponge's mother makes tea:

She pours some water into a saucepan (having thrown her gross tea kettle away at Sponge's request) and sets it on the burner. If she is lucky, she remembers to turn on the stove. Then she reads the comics and forgets the water until her husband quietly comes and says, "Your water is boiling away."
She jumps up and her glasses fall off her nose and onto the floor. She scoops up loose tea and only gets about 1/2 of it into the tea strainer, making a very artistic mess on the kitchen counter. Then, not noticing that the chain is wrapped around the clasp, she puts it into her mug and pours the leftover water over the strainer. At that point the not-closed strainer lets loose all the tea leaves and her tea has little floaties dancing around. When the floaties have drifted toward the bottom, she pours in milk which causes the floaties to dance again. She also pour in too much milk and not only does it cool the tea down too much, it overflows and there is another artistic mess on her kitchen counter, which continues to grow as she tries to get her overflowing mug into the microwave for a blast of heat. When the little floaties quit dancing again, she drinks her tea. Afterwards she reads the tea leaves at the bottom of her mug. They always say the same thing: "I, the Divine, love you just the way you are, but have you ever entertained the thought that tea time is my gift to you in order to help you practice being in the moment and mindfulness?"

Stretch said...

Aw, Floop, you kill me. Between the gasping for breath with the hysterical laughter and the near falling out of my chair, you seriously nearly kill me!